Meet Jessica, Lucy’s mama. She wrote this lovely piece on her own blog and has graciously shared it with us <3
For the past six months, as I’ve made the treacherous trek through the landscape of grief, I have been doing all I can to make it through each day still standing. Every day has had its challenges, but every day, I have somehow managed to get out of bed and make my way on to the next one. Most of the time, my daily survival is consuming enough to leave little room for personal reflection, or even to stop and notice how my world has changed around me. Losing our baby has irrevocably changed everything. It is easy to be so consumed by loss and grief that all of the other things that have slipped away from me go unnoticed for a time. Grief is selfish that way, demanding all of your energy, blocking everything else out. There isn’t a minute that passes in which my Lucy isn’t present in my mind somewhere. However, there are moments when the fog lifts and I become aware of what else I have lost in the wake of loss. That’s the thing about a loss like this- it doesn’t stop at the initial loss, there’s often more loss to follow.
Here are five things I’ve personally lost since losing Lucy:
1. My innocence. Never again will I be able to invest my absolute trust in anything in this world. I will forever step cautiously through my life because I know that at any given moment, no matter how ‘safe’ everything seems to be, disaster can strike. Nothing is certain. I find myself often jealous of others who have the ability to experience unbridled joy and hearty laughter; those days are gone for me. There will always be something missing, and everything will always be a little less than complete.
Read the rest of the beautiful post over on Lucy Rose’s Light <3
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